Exercise (RSS)


I Can Still Fit In My High School Casket
16 September 05 02:30 PM | Jason Looney | 1 Comments   
"You would be just as married without a big fancy wedding," we are told. But the thing we're never told — the thing no one ever says — is, "That dead guy over there will be just as dead without a fancy casket." We don't buy the fancy caskets Read More...
Filed under: , ,
My Gym, Episode III: Revenge of the Wrinkled Butts
07 June 05 06:15 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
My gym installed a new feature near the towel desk today: A pear-shaped security guard. I felt much safer about my locker coin transaction, for sure, but I was barely able keep the Tourette’s in line. I nearly yelled at the women behind the counter, “In Read More...
Filed under:
Amway Steak Money
05 April 05 08:45 PM | Jason Looney | 3 Comments   
As it turns out, there is something far worse than running into a wrinkled butt at the gym: running into Slimy Amway Guy. For those of you who have managed to avoid Amway Guy, here’s how the Amway pitch typically goes down. (Note: I've been pitched Amway Read More...
Filed under: ,
One Wrinkled Butt Away
07 February 05 06:45 PM | Jason Looney | 1 Comments   
In a vain attempt to delay the inevitable obesity, disease, and sundry other pleasantries that come with the decaying human body, a buddy and I have been going to the gym a couple of times a week at lunchtime. It’s been about 10 years since I last Read More...