The Microsoft Interview
I’ve always assumed that I would be too stupid to survive the Microsoft interviewing process. In case you don’t already know, Microsoft is renowned for asking clever little logic questions during their interviews, and I am renowned for being really stupid. Not a good combo.
But then Jensen Harris linked to a list of the questions a while back, and I gave them a look. Much to my surprise, they weren’t that bad. So I decided to face my fears, print out the questions, and give myself 30 minutes to answer all of them.
Over all, I did pretty well. There were only a couple where I didn’t quite understand the question.
If you had an infinite supply of water and a 5 quart and 3 quart pail, how would you measure exactly 4 quarts?
Um, haven’t you seen Die Hard 3? This is one of the puzzles Bruce Willis and Sam Jackson solve during their little game with the terrorists. I’ve seen this movie eight or nine times now, so it would prove absolutely nothing if I sat here and recited the answer to you. Even if I could remember it.
But, come to think of it, if I had an infinite supply of water I would end world hunger by watering the desert. Then I’d use the proceeds from my Nobel prize money to buy a four quart pail. And I’d do all of this just to satisfy you. Tell me, would you love me then?
If you are on a boat and you throw out a suitcase, will the level of water increase?
Unless it’s a water-tight suitcase, yes, the level of water will increase. Also the suitcase will feel abandoned as it drowns.
Note: I don’t think this question actually makes any sense.
On average, how many times would you have to open the Seattle phone book to find a specific name?
Know this: I am not a quitter. I will open a phone book looking for a name, and I'll keep flipping around until I find the name. I don’t know about Seattle, but in Denver, our phone books are alphabetized. Between that and my never-say-die attitude, I don't think I've ever had to open a phone book more than once.
If you look at a clock and the time is 3:15, what is the angle between the hour hand and the minute hand?
AM or PM?
There are 3 ants at 3 corners of a triangle, they randomly start moving towards another corner. What is the probability that they don't collide?
The probability of them colliding is zero for I would kill them. Even if they look like circus ants. If you're looking for the ant kingdom's genocidal maniac, you've come to the right place.
Actually, they'd all have to go the same direction in order to not collide, right? So either they all go left, or they all go right, right? Three ants, each with two choices, gives us 2^3 possible combinations of movements. 2^3 is somewhere around eight, so I'd say you have a 1 in 4 chance (2 in 8, really, but I reduced, because that's one of my key skills (see Education and Certifications section on resume)) of them colliding.
If I'm anywhere nearby, though, those odds turn to 0 in 1000, since I really, really like killing things, and no one minds a few dead ants. I'm not kidding.
What new feature would you add to MSWORD if you were hired?
I would add a button to the main toolbar that said "Quit Sucking Balls". When you clicked the button, it would stay depressed and change to "Start Sucking Balls." With the "Quit Sucking Balls" feature enabled, MSWORD would quit sucking balls. It would stop re-underlining things I've told it to ignore, automatically formatting things I don't want formatted, and do away with the whole paragraph/style/styles-based-on-styles/everything's-a-nasty-long-style paradigm.
Why did you pick the school you graduated from?
First, it's nice to see you aren't all stuffy and serious about the whole "don't end a sentence with a preposition" thing. Me to.
I'll tell you this… My wife and I graduated from two different universities, and neither of us have a sweatshirt from either university. In fact, we've never owned such sweatshirts in our lives, not even during the combined 17 years it took for us to get two bachelors degrees (and three STDs).
Now, I'm sure you're asking this question for some sneaky reason, so let me assure you, I'm much more assertive now. If I were choosing today, I would probably pick MIT, because that's where Matt Damon went.
Why do you want to work for Microsoft?
Okay, no kidding here. Take the highest prime number you can think of, square it, then round up to the nearest rhombus.
That's how much I love Microsoft.
How many Gas stations are there in the US?
No way you can expect me to know that. Are you merging with Exxon or something?
Ah, wait... This is one of those, "How do you think?" questions, isn't it? Okay, then, here's my algorithm:
1) Start with the highest prime number I can think of (11)
2) Square it (100+)
3) Round up to the nearest rhombus (400,000)
So, 400,000. On the nose.
How would you weigh a plane without using scales?
I'd hold it with my right hand for a while, write down an estimate, then hold it for my left hand for a while, write down that estimate, then average the two estimates. Given the situation, I think a median average would be more telling than the mean.
How would you move Mt. Everest?
I would tell it a touching story about a boy in love with his bunny. (Note: The bunny dies at the end.)
Two MIT math graduates bump into each other at Fairway on the upper west side. They hadn't seen each other in over 20 years.
The first grad says to the second: "How have you been?"
Second: "Great! I got married and I have three daughters now"
First: "Really? how old are they?"
Second: "Well, the product of their ages is 72, and the sum of their ages is the same as the number on that building over there.."
First: "Right, ok.. oh wait.. hmmmm.., I still don't know"
second: "Oh sorry, the oldest one just started to play the piano"
First: "Wonderful! my oldest is the same age!"
Problem: How old are the daughters?
Hopefully old enough to run away from their freakish parents. I have to say, this test is starting to get a little weird.
Why are beer cans tapered at the top and bottom?
How would I know? I drink beer from bottles. They're tapered at the top to serve as a proper handle in bar fights.
Soda cans are tapered, I believe, because soda’s for pansies.
Why is it that hot water in a hotel comes out instantly but at home it takes time?
It takes a while at home because the water sits around in the pipe and cools down, and you have to warm the pipe. In the hotel, your pipe is already warm, if you get my drift.
How many times a day do a clock's hands overlap?
I'm going with 24. Here's my algorithm:
1) I think the hands cross once every hour.
2) I think there are 24 hours in every day.
I can't wait for you tell me, with your smug little smile, what the hell I'm missing here.
Mike has $20 more than Todd. How much does each have given that combined they have $21 between them. You can't use fractions in the answer.
So Mike has whatever Todd has, plus a twenty. This means that there's no way for their total to be an odd number (since any amount Todd has must be multiplied by two, and 20 is an even number), and that you are stupid for asking this question.
(Unless I can use decimals in the answer…)
There are four dogs, each at the counter of a large square. Each of the dogs begins chasing the dog clockwise from it. All of the dogs run at the same speed. All continously adjust their direction so that they are always heading straight towards their clockwise neighbor. How long does it take for the dogs to catch each other? Where does this happen? (Hint: Dog's are moving in a symmetrical fashion, not along the edges of the square.)
Thanks for the hint.
Do they take any timeouts to poop in my yard? If not, then this question is too hypothetical and I’m done with this interview. If so, then the answer is: they never catch each other. They spend their entire lives pooping on my lawn, just like every other dog in this neighborhood.
I guess I’m not what you’d call “Microsoft material.” But then again, neither is this guy. But this guy is.
See also: