Love, Dove, and Dove

Dove is good at making soap.  Dove is good at making chocolate.  But, for some reason, Dove doesn’t make chocolate soap.  This seems like an oversight.  I say, these two companies need to get together and have a chat.  I believe that not only is chocolate soap the wave of the future, it is the brown wave.

Who wouldn’t love a bar of chocolate soap?  People with cocoa allergies and communists, that’s who.  As for me, I’d love it.  I’d take twice as many showers and stay twice as clean.  Of course, I’d also eat twice as much soap.  But hey, that would keep my insides nice and clean, and the toilet room would smell better too.  (See?  Upside all around.)

I would also enjoy chocolate shampoo.  It should resemble Hershey’s syrup, only soapier.  The conditioner, ideally, would contain a hint of vanilla.  Or even: butterscotch.

The lotion could moisturize and tan, with options ranging from milk to dark. 

Really, I can’t even tell you how much better my life would be with chocolate soap.  For one thing, my wife loves chocolate more than air.  So if I had chocolate soap, I would only partially rinse my privates.

And then everyone would be happy.

Well, unless they advertise it with naked fat ladies covered in chocolate.  That wouldn't make me happy at all.  That would make me sad.