Happy Birthday Susie!
Today is Sarah's birthday but all she has to show for it, so far, is a cake that says “Happy Birthday Susie.”
We're celebrating her birthday with a dinner and a concert on Sunday, so today is mostly a non-event. I'm even waiting until Sunday to give her the goofy birthday cards from me and the boys, since I plan on buying those cards sometime tomorrow.
Whatever decorum was once attached to our gift giving is, obviously, long gone. I spent last Christmas Eve wrapping my own gifts -- DVDs that would have been surprising were it not for the barrage of e-mails I received regarding their shipment. On Valentine's Day this year I emerged from my shower to find a sweater in a shopping sack sitting on the bathroom counter. Later that day, I returned the favor by stuffing two DVDs into a gift bag with the price tags still attached. And, instead of chocolate, I included a gift certificate for chocolate, good wherever $20 bills are accepted.
So it's safe to say that, as of last week, I hadn't made any cake-related plans for Sarah's birthday. But then, just a few days ago, a miracle descended upon our household. A miracle in the form of a Safeway coupon.
Ladies and gentlemen: FREE CAKE.
The postcard was addressed to Sarah and said "FREE CAKE" quite clearly, as well as some other things… things that may have indicated that the FREE CAKE was intended for a child. But, knowing it was her only chance for a cake this year, Sarah called the store to place the order.
Halfway through the conversation she realized just how heavily Safeway was emphasizing the child angle. The baker himself made a point of it, saying things like, "Most children won't tolerate anything BUT chocolate icing!" (Sarah: “Nope! White is fine for us!”)
As things progressed, Sarah felt pressured to supply a fake name for the top of the cake. After all, the checkout girl might see the postcard had Sarah's name, and using one of the boys' names would make things weird around the house. Know that Sarah's love for cake runs deep. Very deep. It's not something that a few scribbled letters can deny. So when the baker asked Sarah what name to write on the cake, she answered, "Susie."
The baker sounded unsure.
“Susie?”
Sarah started to defend this not-so-common name as important to our family, but luckily, the baker moved right on to the spelling. “S-U-S-I-E???” he asked.
"That's it!" chimed Sarah.
The baker took the order, Sarah hung up, and our house smelled of victory. But, upon further review, tossing out a girl's name might not have been the wisest move. Our two children are both boys, and she knew that both of them would be with her when she picked up the cake.
All this made for a real dilemma late last night. It spurred a debate most spurious. How could we explain our missing Susie to the cashier and other shoppers? Would the baker be suspicious if all he saw was two boys? Would our white-frosting lie inspire a state-wide Amber Alert?
In the end, we took a long look at our two beautiful and innocent children, and asked ourselves a simple question. It’s one of the toughest questions in the world -- a question NO parent should ever have to ask...
"Which one do we dress like a girl?"
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Happy Birthday Susie!