Ask Anyone Who Drinks And Writes Letters To Newsweek

I subscribe to Newsweek, mainly for the columnists, but partly because it's now a thesaurus for awkward ways to say "an unidentified source."  When Newsweek fell into hot water a few months ago because of their use of unidentified sources they committed to cleaning up their act.  So these days, they still use unidentified sources for all of their political stories, but now they throw in overblown explanations as to why the sources are unidentified.  Things like, "… a source who wishes to remain anonymous because speaking to the press can occasionally have unexpected and negative political effects" and "… a source who does not like the way his name looks in print." 

Anyway, I'm sure other newsy and political-type blogs are already covering this issue.  That's not why I’m here.  What I bring you today is a fun and exciting game that you can play while reading Newsweek's letters to the editor.  I call it, Spot the Political Non Sequitur.  The game is simple.

1. Find a letter to the editor about a non-political subject.
2. See if you can find the political non sequitur.
3. If you do not find the non sequitur, you lose, because they all have at least one.

Here are some sample letters from the Feb 6 issue. All of these letters are in regard to a cover story on Bode Miller, the American skier who recently admitted that his partying and his racing have overlapped a bit in the past (a first for professional skiers, I'm sure).

I'll walk you through the first one.

From Tuscon: Why do we have to send losers like Bode Miller to the Olympics?  Is winning so important to us [Note: Remember, we're looking strictly for political non sequiturs in this game] that we have to send a disrespectful, egotistical showoff like Bode Miller to represent America?  Or is his kind of personality the norm for behavior in our country? [Note: Not there yet.  Righteous indignation is expected.  In fact, it’s assumed.]  Your article pointed out that each sport has had its bad boys.  But to be blatant about it and to be proud of displaying it reek of a culture that has lost all respect for decency.  [Note: Close, but not quite...]  Isn't it bad enough that the United States' image has become greatly damaged by our political posturing? [Ding ding ding!]  Why do we have to send this degenerate to the Olympics as a representative of who we are?

See, it's fun, isn't it?  Here are a couple for you to try on your own.

From Chaska, MN: It's interesting that Bode Miller has gotten into trouble for telling the truth about skiing hung over.  Our society encourages politicians, athletes, and other newsworthy figures to be as evasive as possible when answering questions so as not to get themselves in trouble.  Perhaps if our Supreme Court nominees were as forthright when answering questions we would know exactly where they stand prior to making decisions that will have an impact on all our futures.

From Lahaina, HI: No bigger moron exists than Olympic-medal hopeful Bode Miller.  Running his mouth on "60 Minutes," he sank what could have been a stellar career, along the lines of Jean-Claude Killy's.  So, at 28, he skis drunk, or is still drunk from the night before.  What a talent.  Hear that sucking sound?  It's his endorsements going down the drain.  Ask anyone who drinks and drives: it's only a matter of time before you end up arrested, paralyzed or dead.  [Note: ?]  Please, send Miller to Iraq, where he can share stories with injured and maimed soldiers on how he blew his career -- but had a good damn time doing it.

Clearly these people need blogs.