The Ethics of Scaring Crows

I don't mean to offend, but if you are an adult and you are wearing a costume, I don't like you.

Today is Halloween and, already, I've seen several people in costume here at work.  I mean, come on.  How am I supposed to take your thoughts on software seriously when you're wearing enough make-up to make Johnny Depp [put on more] blush?

Worse, I have a group of close friends that feel the need to turn every get-together into a costume party. Instead of simple barbecues, we have things like "murder mystery night" and "dress as your favorite movie star night" and "let's ring in the New Year by dressing in 70's funk" night. 

You're thinking, "That sounds fun!" aren't you?  Well it's not fun for me.  These are friends I only get to see but a couple times a year, and now every time I see them they're hidden behind giant sunglasses and/or fake boobs.  Beyond the initial HILARITY, it makes me uncomfortable.  Am I really talking to Paul right now, or am I talking to Paulie-licious McJive, the funkiest white turkey ever to slap the sticks?  Am I talking to Kristina, or to her new glorious, hilly friends that keep calling my name (I swear -- why else would I look?). 

I guess my concern comes down to honesty.  I think that if you're in a costume, you need to stay in character.  Don't be nice to me if you're dressed as Jason from Friday the 13th.  If you're dressed as a pirate, please, pillage me during our design review meeting.  But if you choose not to stay in character, let's drop the costume and have a normal conversation.

(Have you ever shot the breeze with a clown?  It's disturbing when they lose the clown thing, isn't it?  When they drop a curse word, light up a cigarette, and talk about their Ford Escort?  So can't you see why I'm disturbed by this costume crap?)

I suppose now would be a good time for me to tell you that I marched down Longmont's Main Street this past weekend wearing a snap-on scarecrow hat.  But there were two key mitigating factors at play.  First, my kids were dressed as vegetables and marching in a parade so, as their protector, it only made sense that I resemble a scarecrow.  Second, when it comes to my kids, I am ready and willing to abandon any and every conviction I have on any and every subject.  If cutting the heads off of cats would make them laugh, I'd probably do it.  (Note to self: Give this a shot tonight and see if they laugh.)

So I guess I hate myself… my costumed self, at least.  But let it be known that, beyond the snap-on hat, the rest of my costume was the same one I've worn to all those get-togethers with my friends.  It's a get-up I like to call "Software Professional on Casual Friday."