Things I Guess I Shouldn't Have Said In Front Of The Kid This Weekend

Jackson is talking on a play cell phone.

DADDY:  Hey Jack, who you talking to?

JACKSON:  Junior. 

DADDY:  Junior Asparagus?

JACKSON: Yeah.

DADDY:  Cool!  Can I talk to him?

Jackson brings Daddy the phone.

DADDY:  Hey Junior!  What’s cookin’?  Oh, your parents??  I’m sorry.  Hey, if it makes you feel any better, they’ll be smelling your parents for days.  You know?  Yeah, okay.  Well hey, call me if you get into trouble, okay?  See you later buddy.  Buh-bye.

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Blue’s Clues is on and the host is asking ridiculous multiple-choice questions of the audience.  In this case, Trevor has lost a toy.

HOST:  Should Trevor get off the park bench and look for his toy?  Or, should he shout “Toy!? Where are you?” [pauses for answer from television audience]

DADDY:  What about the third option: “Should Trevor light himself on fire?”

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Jackson is picking up his mega blocks and putting them away.

DADDY:  Jackson, you’ve been so good today, tonight I’m giving you two minutes of time-in!!