Things I've Done Right
I’ve done a lot of things in my life. Things I’m proud of, things I’m not. But I’ve done very few of these things with my left hand.
I keep my wallet in my left pocket, but that’s just to facilitate my right hand getting to the money more quickly. I type with both hands, but I purposely avoid the letters Q, Z, and X. If I ever tried beating the other members of my family with my left hand, I would probably end up just slapping myself silly, which would totally defeat the purpose of the beatings.
The best thing about my left hand is that it reminds me how coordinated my right hand is. In fact, when I see girls throwing softballs at co-ed games, I think, “They throw it like they’re using their off hand.” I admit, I am pretty good at catching softballs with my off hand, but only if there’s a giant leather mitt involved. (Otherwise, I cry like a person using their off hand.)
Alright. I’d close with an off-handed comment, but I can’t think of one off hand.