Big Spender
Now that I’m a grown man (and get, like, a paycheck and stuff), I like to throw my money around. Sometimes I’ll make two packages of Ramen. That’s right, TWO. Other times I’ll make a meal of Little Debbie’s 25ยข snack cakes. I can eat twice as many cakes as I could in in college, but these days I pay cash.
If I see a roll of pennies in the clerk’s drawer when I’m paying cash for snack cakes, I will ask if they can give me the roll as fifty cents of my change. When they do, I break the roll open, pour it into the “Give A Penny, Take A Penny” tray, shoot the clerk a wink and bellow, “Tell ‘em it’s on Jason Looney today.” And then I walk out as if the money meant nothing to me.
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