Baby Food
I'm thinking of giving my kids their own blogs. Since our oldest is two and the youngest is a baby, it would be a fascinating experiment — their entire lives could be documented blogospherically. Sure, this type of thing might be commonplace in the future, but my sons would be pioneers.
As an added benefit, I would feel much less guilt for never writing about them. I could just say, “Man, that was a cute thing you did with the Legos there. You should totally blog that!” I say, if our children really want their cute little anecdotes to be known by all humanity, they can write them up themselves.
UPDATE: We just asked Joseph, our baby, about his interest in blogging, and he squealed with delight. In fact, he’s already written a few posts. I’ll copy all of them over to his blog page once I get it established, but here’s a preview (in “forward” chronological order):
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Wednesday June 1, 2005, 8:30 PM
Freak, a.k.a Dad, pounded more snack cakes tonight. Stood there and ate the entire box while holding me. I was probably an arm's length from his face the entire time and didn’t get a single crumb. Jerk.
Then, as he licked his fingers and smiled at me, it struck me like a coffee table… I wondered: Am I next ? Am I… FOOD?
What if I’m food, people?!?! I'm so totally freaked out right now. These people are giant and, should the snack cakes ever run out, the chubby one may well go after my toesies. Tell me: Am I being paranoid? Are these my predators? Or are they caretakers?
From what I can tell, I look a lot like these bigger people, so that’s a good sign. (Our hands, feet, and leg fat are shaped similarly, at least.) But I need to figure this thing out for sure… before it's too late.
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Sunday June 5, 2005, 12:30 PM
ALERT!
I LOOK NOTHING LIKE THE BIG PEOPLE. THE OTHER LITTLE PERSON (THAT I THOUGHT I HAD BEEN BONDING WITH ALL THIS TIME) IS ACTUALLY ME IN SOME CRAZY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE CALLED “MIRROR”.
IF YOU ARE SMALL, TOOTHLESS AND BALD, AND YOU KNOW IT, PLEASE E-MAIL ME. I HAVE NEVER BEEN IN THIS SITUATION BEFORE AND NEED ADVICE ASAP. (E.G. HOW LONG BEFORE I ATTEMPT ESCAPE? SHOULD I STOP EATING? ARE THEY WAITING FOR ME TO GET FATTER?)
ALSO I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY ALL THE LETTERS I TYPE ARE COMING OUT CAPITAL. IN THIS CASE, IT’S APPROPRIATE, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH THAT TOO.
PLEASE HELP.
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Wednesday June 8, 2005, 8:30 PM
Well, another day, and I still have not been eaten.
I've been working on my crying when they leave me alone in my crib. Once I see I'm headed for a mouth, I'm going to let them have it. A quiet meal I will not be.
I’ve decided I’m going to start writing on a daily basis. This way, if someone finds these silly ramblings of mine, but does not find me, they will know, within a few hours either way, the date of my consumption.
By the way, the big people continue to call me “Joe Baby.” Toddlerhood cannot come fast enough.
See you tomorrow…
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