My Gym, Episode III: Revenge of the Wrinkled Butts

Published 07 June 05 06:15 AM | Jason Looney 

My gym installed a new feature near the towel desk today:  A pear-shaped security guard.  I felt much safer about my locker coin transaction, for sure, but I was barely able keep the Tourette’s in line.  I nearly yelled at the women behind the counter, “In the dryer!  All of you!  I’m taking this place over!”  You know, just to see what Capt. Del Monte would have done.

On the way out I saw the pool was closed due to a mechanical problem, which probably explains the security guard.  I bet they ruined the day of one-too-many stay-at-home moms yesterday.  I bet one of the moms pulled a dooce and said, “If I miss my lunch date today, YOU WILL MISS THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WOMAN!” 

And that’s why they got a security guard.  For the towel desk.  Of a rec center.  That is physically attached to a senior center.

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