The Curse Of The Home Depot

A-Dog and I sit outside The Home Depot, eating hot dogs.  A man comes strolling out from a nearby exit, makes eye contact with the hot dog dude, and quips, “What’s that stink out here?”

The man keeps walking.  A-dog, the hot dog dude and I give him polite smile-grunts.  But, not one to be satisfied by smile-grunts, the man throws out, “Oh!  It’s just you cookin’!”

Now see, we all understood that he was joking earlier; hence the polite smile-grunts.  He did not need to specify the very object of his derision quite so clearly, if you dig.  Now we’re all just slightly uncomfortable.  In fact, we hot dog fans are secretly happy he’s halfway out to the parking lot now. 

Then comes the doozy:  “F**k.” 

So he fails to score a laugh on the first thing, then (in case we hadn’t picked up on the subtle sarcasm) calls out the fact that he was joking, then ratchets up the offensiveness level eight-fold by dropping the F-Bomb in the parking lot of The Home Depot. 

Children of the world, learn a lesson from this.  Cursing is for losers with nothing interesting to say.  And, maybe, for non-losers who have recently stubbed their toe.  And, definitely, for owners of female dogs with intestinal disorders and a penchant for odd manners of procreation.  But that’s it.