June 2005 - Posts

Looney
30 June 05 02:00 PM | Jason Looney | 7 Comments   
I’ve titled this blog “Jason Looney” because I think it’s silly for personal blogs to have brand names. In fact, when I link to other blogs, I typically do so by the author’s name rather than the blog’s name. I suppose Read More...
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Lemon Has Been Ruined For Us
30 June 05 12:00 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Lemon has been ruined for us. The floor cleaner people and the furniture polish people can’t settle for lemon scent anymore — they are using real lemon juice . So now you cannot eat anything lemon without it reminding you of cleaner and/or Read More...
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Grokster Loses
27 June 05 09:45 PM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Today the Supreme Court ruled , in a unanimous decision, that the word “ grok ” is ugly, disgusting, and completely unnecessary. Citizens who have read or heard the word are urged to slide splayed metal hangers into their earholes, poking their very brains. Read More...
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Blue, Orange, and Dirty
24 June 05 07:00 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Sarah and I don’t enjoy drawing attention to ourselves, but it doesn’t matter. In our neighborhood, we’re famous. In the evenings, our neighborhood often has a warm, orange glow. This is a result of the paint color I chose for our front room. Cars slow Read More...
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They Do, I Write
22 June 05 09:45 PM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Time to brag on my family a bit… My uncle, Clark Griep, is running for mayor of Broomfield, Colorado. Clark’s one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met, and he’s absolutely indefatigable. He loves his city (sorry, city/county) so Read More...
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From Red To Orange To Itchy
20 June 05 10:45 PM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
CNN just ran a story about the “softer side” of Saddam. Former guards of the mass murderer tell us that Saddam likes writing poetry, working on his garden, and smoking cigars. According to CNN, the former dictator has also taken a liking to Read More...
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On The Importance Of Driving Maniacally
17 June 05 08:30 PM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Today I drove across town to meet my wife and children for a photo session with the kids. I didn’t want to be late, and somehow this simple desire turned me into a manic, hazardous driver. I had some difficulty getting out of our subdivision, which was Read More...
Things I've Done Right
16 June 05 08:15 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
I’ve done a lot of things in my life. Things I’m proud of, things I’m not. But I’ve done very few of these things with my left hand. I keep my wallet in my left pocket, but that’s just to facilitate my right hand getting Read More...
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Big Spender
13 June 05 02:00 PM | Jason Looney | 1 Comments   
Now that I’m a grown man (and get, like, a paycheck and stuff), I like to throw my money around. Sometimes I’ll make two packages of Ramen. That’s right, TWO. Other times I’ll make a meal of Little Debbie’s 25¢ snack cakes. Read More...
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Venti, Viddi, Vicci
13 June 05 12:00 PM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
I’m still holding out. I’m holding my ground. I refuse to use the goofy names for cup sizes at Starbucks. Tall = small? Whatever. Let’s be honest: It’s not a “grande mocha.” It’s a “medium enema.” Read More...
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Baby Food
09 June 05 07:45 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
I'm thinking of giving my kids their own blogs. Since our oldest is two and the youngest is a baby, it would be a fascinating experiment — their entire lives could be documented blogospherically. Sure, this type of thing might be commonplace in the future, Read More...
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Penny Serenade
08 June 05 06:45 AM | Jason Looney | 2 Comments   
If you ask me, “A penny for your thoughts?” you should be ready for a weird thought or two. More importantly, you should also be ready to give up that penny. I’ve always taken the penny thing quite literally, for I believe we should be men of our word, Read More...
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Grass That Grows On You
07 June 05 09:45 PM | Jason Looney | 1 Comments   
I’ve made some fun of wheat grass people in my life, and lately I’ve been feeling guilty about it. So yesterday I bought a wheat grass drink at the local blend-any-plant-or-fruit place. Guess what? It’s okay to make fun of the wheat grass people. It’s Read More...
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My Gym, Episode III: Revenge of the Wrinkled Butts
07 June 05 06:15 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
My gym installed a new feature near the towel desk today: A pear-shaped security guard. I felt much safer about my locker coin transaction, for sure, but I was barely able keep the Tourette’s in line. I nearly yelled at the women behind the counter, “In Read More...
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The Curse Of The Home Depot
03 June 05 09:30 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
A-Dog and I sit outside The Home Depot, eating hot dogs. A man comes strolling out from a nearby exit, makes eye contact with the hot dog dude, and quips, “What’s that stink out here?” The man keeps walking. A-dog, the hot dog dude and I give him polite Read More...
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