Because Today Is Memorial Day

I like robots.  I even like the word “robot.”  I like saying “robot” and I like typing “robot.”  In fact, probably the only word I like saying more than “robot” is the word “epileptic.”  (By the way, if you are a company and you are developing an epileptic robot, please, give me a call.  I already have your logo designed.)

My wife is ambivalent about robots.  I’ve shown her the robots that vacuum, the robots that mow grass, and the robots that fight each other in cage matches on TV.  But she’s unimpressed.  She seems to think that the only robots worth having are robots that fight for peace and justice.  Which is a good point, really.  Why risk the lives of human soldiers in the Middle East when we could send robots instead?

But I like robots and I wouldn’t want to risk them in a war, either.  So I’ve come up with a better idea.  I think we should send our STDs into battle.  And our VDs, too.  Why hasn’t anyone thought of this?  Would there be anything scarier for our opposition than seeing chlamydia driving a jeep?  Or gonorrhea manning the gun?  Or genital warts carrying bazookas full of themselves?