May 2005 - Posts

What Is The X-Factor?
31 May 05 11:00 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
I’ve given up trying to keep track of Gatorade’s flavors. When Sarah goes to the grocery store I just specify a color, such as “reddish.” This week’s reddish is part of Gatorade’s “X-Factor” line of flavors. Read More...
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Because Today Is Memorial Day
30 May 05 07:45 PM | Jason Looney | 2 Comments   
I like robots. I even like the word “robot.” I like saying “robot” and I like typing “robot.” In fact, probably the only word I like saying more than “robot” is the word “epileptic.” (By the Read More...
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Passing Bucks and Gas
25 May 05 08:30 AM | Jason Looney | 1 Comments   
My wife and I celebrated our eighth anniversary last night. Each year around this time we like to reflect on our accomplishments, our relationship, and all the various manners of passive aggression we're using to destroy each other's hopes of happiness. Read More...
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About That Dead Dog of Yours
21 May 05 08:00 AM | Jason Looney | 7 Comments   
– I don't like paying money for trees. It seems weird. Our planet is covered in trees, but now there are people holding baby trees hostage. Meanwhile, only God can make a tree, and He’s not getting any of the proceeds. So to summarize, the Read More...
Relative University
17 May 05 06:15 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Our universe is governed by laws, many of which we don’t fully understand. Today I want to consider the following immutable and irrefutable laws of universal relativity: 1) My child is cuter than yours 2) You do not agree with me I believe these Read More...
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The Spoils of Warhol
12 May 05 07:30 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Let’s play another round of “Which Way Should We Take It?” News Item : “One of Andy Warhol's 13 silkscreens of Elizabeth Taylor has sold at auction for $12.6 million.” Ways We Could Take It : Headline: Some Insane Apparently Read More...
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Elway v. Montana -- The Definitive Answer (old)
10 May 05 06:30 AM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
In The Sporting News’ list of football’s greatest players, Joe Montana is ranked #3. John Elway is ranked #16. In ESPN’s list of the top 100 North American athletes of the last century, Joe Montana is ranked #25. John Elway is… Read More...
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The Little Debbie In My Beard
02 May 05 07:15 PM | Jason Looney | 0 Comments   
Chris visited me in Colorado this week while my wife and children visited Missouri. This is the best arrangement for everyone, really, since Chris and I are absolutely insufferable together. We like to stay up late, yell at killer dunks on the television, Read More...