Trippin', Short For Tripping, Because She's a Hip Hippy Hippie

I'm happy to report that the Daddy Needs A DVR 2005 Campaign has ended... pleasantly!  Instead of losing an appendage (see: Daddy Needs A Laptop 2003), I was awarded a TiVo. 

I've come to learn that the TiVo automatically records programs for you based on what you've been watching, what you've been recording, and your use of its "Thumbs Up" and "Thumbs Down" buttons.  I am not proud to admit, then, that TiVo needed only two days to realize what a shallow person I am.  I installed the device on Friday, and by Monday it had auto-magically recorded an episode of a show called Trippin'. 

Trippin' is shown on the Music Television Network, MTV, and is the brainchild of Cameron Diaz.  (Disclaimer: I may or may not have watched six consecutive hours of MTV's Newlyweds over the weekend, and this may or may not have been what tipped TiVo off.)  Here’s how MTV's website describes Trippin':

"Cameron Diaz and a group of her close, personal friends think globally and act globally too as they travel to unlikely getaways...from Chile to Yellowstone, on a quest to safeguard the environment. The travelers will not have the benefit of any luxury."

I don't want to get too caught up in nitpicking, but anyone who has watched an episode of MTV's Trippin' would be excused if they took exception to the following portions of this description:

• "her close, personal friends" 
• "think globally and act globally"
• "too" (you had me at "and")
• "unlikely getaways" (Yellowstone)
• "..." 
• "on a quest to safeguard the environment" 
• "will not have the benefit of any luxury" 

Last night's episode had Cameron, Eva Mendes, Redman (pronounced “Red Man”), that one guy from Blink 182, and that one guy from Blink 182's wife, all traveling to Nepal.  (In case you were wondering, Redman was there for two reasons.  First, MTV's new "street cred" policy requires a foul-mouthed rapper to appear in all new reality shows.  Second, he is a close, personal friend of Cameron Diaz, Eva Mendes, that one guy from Blink 182, and that one guy from Blink 182's wife.) 

The luxury-free trip to Nepal required a jet airplane, a chartered helicopter, a chartered van, a chartered boat, Sherpas for the schlepping, Redman’s repeated use of the word “pimpin’,” a 1000–square-foot “tent,” and MiniDV video cameras for everyone. 

The first morning, after enjoying a breakfast prepared by others, our intrepid celebrities were given a guided elephant tour of a wildlife reserve by the local WWF (now, more than wrestling!) guy.  Redman, of course, was obsessed with the same parts of the animals that a four-year-old with a behavioral disorder would have been, and, of course, was bleeped three times per sentence.  The guy from Blink 182 acted about as Hemingway-ish as you might expect a guy from Blink 182 to act.  His wife, strangely, was hardly shown at all.  (She must not be a close, personal friend or something.)  Cameron and Eva, meanwhile, showed how very pretty they can look without any make-up on.  (Oh, wait... they were wearing make-up.)

The point of this particular episode was that poaching Nepalese rhinos is bad.  So, to summarize: Cameron Diaz made enough money showing her underwear in Charlie's Angels 2 to clone 10,000 Nepalese rhinos, but she's decided to use her influence for a greater cause: making MTV viewers feel guilty about rhino poaching.

And you know what?  It worked.  I will never poach a Nepalese rhinoceros ever again.  Ever.

The real highlight of the show came near the end, when Cameron and her friends visited a Nepalese village.  Upon arrival, the entire village lined the street to applaud the American celebrities.  Then, Redman brought some of his "fo' real" hilarity to a crowd of Nepalese children who, I’m sure, understood every word.  And finally, Eva Mendes broke down crying, repeatedly saying, "They're just like us.  They are just like us.  I mean, they are so just like us." 

For my money, it would have been less offensive if they had lit the village on fire and burned the words "Rhino KILLERS!" into the rice paddies.  But then again, I don’t have my own show on MTV.