Who Moved My Fruit?
As I sit here eating Dannon's "Fruit on the Bottom" yogurt, I wonder.
I wonder if Dannon originally wanted the fruit/yogurt combination to be more colloidal, and if their food engineers spent months trying to keep the fruit perfectly distributed within the yogurt. I wonder if they have the most ingenious marketing manager in the world — the guy who said, "Let's just call it 'Fruit on the Bottom.'"
See, Dannon doesn't want to lie to you, and they don't want to make your decisions for you. There's fruit in this product, and no one is confused about where that fruit is going to be. Maybe you're the type of person who wants a two course meal: First course, yogurt. Second course, yogurt-covered fruit. With this product, you decide.
I wonder what our world would be like if all companies were more honest and more plain-spoken with their customers. For instance, imagine:
- Tropicana "Juice on the Bottom" orange juice
- "Fat on Your Bottom" Oreos
- Teeth Breakers cereal ("Same great taste as original Grape Nuts, great new name!")
- The 2005 Ford Explorer, Rollover Edition
- McCreeping Death Deluxe
- Microsoft Internet Exploder
- You So Razy! (microwaveable Chinese dinners)
- Three and Only Three Gummy Bears, Movie Pack