Tuesday, May 10, 2005 8:00 PM
Chris Jones
An NBA fan in Missouri
I'm a huge fan of the NBA, but I don't have any sort of cable or
satellite television. So, if I'm to know anything of what's going
on, I have to either visit an establishment that's showing the games or
check the local news or internet to get scores and highlights.
Tonight, it's the local news.
So I'm sitting on the couch with my
wife--occasionally flatulating on her blanket, much to her
chagrin--waiting for some basketball highlights, and this is the way
the sports on our local news goes, in exactly this order:
- Exhaustive highlights of the St. Louis Cardinals game
- Scores and commentary on the local minor league baseball team
- Southwest Missouri State University Women's Fast-Pitch Softball highlights (including one highlight of a foul ball)
- Local high school baseball insight
- A kid from Kickapoo High School wins an award for being a great student, so I get to watch him shoot a few three pointers
So far, no pro basketball.
Understand, people--we're down to Conference Semis. Only eight
teams left, battling toward the NBA Finals. Nary a hockey playoff
to even contend with. And yet, the NBA is of so little importance
that after all this other drivel (including highlights) I have to sift through to get to some information of actual import to the sports world, sportscaster Dan Lucy puts up a screen of the two pertinent NBA scores for about five seconds. The same five seconds
that my wife decides to gripe at me and to struggle to get her blanket
out from under me so it won't smell like my flatulence. ALAS, I
MANAGE TO NOT EVEN CATCH THE SCORES. So now I'm as mad
at the missus as I am at the ridiculous sports broadcast that features
ZERO highlights from the NBA playoffs.
So thank you, Mrs. Jones. And thank you, Dan Lucy, for
highlights of everything else but your dog taking a crap.