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May 2005 - Posts

Space, Time, and Drivel

Hey, we Americans need to reco'nize that our system of measurement is no more logical than King George's turds. The metric system is fantastic. Do you understand? Tens, hundreds, thousands... what could be simpler? Thus, Americans are gravely wrong in Read More...
Posted Monday, May 30, 2005 9:30 AM by Chris Jones | 1 Comments

Return of the (Whiner) Jedi

Well, if you’ve been keeping up with these Star Wars posts, you’re doing a better job than I. My untimeliness is astounding, but now that Episode III is released, the pressure’s off. So here are some thoughts on Episode IV, Return of the Jedi. Finding Read More...
Posted Monday, May 30, 2005 9:00 AM by Chris Jones | 10 Comments

The Legend gets two mentions

Peter Griffin, a.k.a. The Family Guy, in an attempt to prove to himself that he was still more dominant than his offspring, challenged his son to a game of one-on-one basketball. During this game, he referred to himself as "the white Larry Bird." Ben Read More...
Posted Thursday, May 26, 2005 12:30 PM by Chris Jones | 4 Comments

An NBA list

Again, I love the NBA, and I thought it would be good fun to compose a list of the five starters I would choose for the All-Time Whiners' Team. My problem is, I can't shake the image of Kareem and his big bottom lip protruding as he fails to hustle back Read More...
Posted Friday, May 20, 2005 2:00 PM by Chris Jones | 1 Comments

Two quotes from the niece

I had the opportunity to hang out some with my niece, Lexi, last weekend. She'll be 4 years old in December. She determined she couldn't finish her ice cream cone one day, so she made it dance around and say, "I quit this job. I'm going to jail ." As Read More...
Posted Tuesday, May 17, 2005 3:00 PM by Chris Jones | 1 Comments

An NBA fan in Missouri

I'm a huge fan of the NBA, but I don't have any sort of cable or satellite television. So, if I'm to know anything of what's going on, I have to either visit an establishment that's showing the games or check the local news or internet to get scores and Read More...
Posted Tuesday, May 10, 2005 8:00 PM by Chris Jones | 1 Comments

Fun at Work

I work at a store that buys, sells, and trades used stuff (but I PROMISE it's not a pawn shop). As such, many interesting people come in, including an overweight, friendly little guy named Frank. He's a quiet, awkward (but somewhat funny) twelve-year-old. Read More...
Posted Friday, May 06, 2005 2:00 PM by Chris Jones | 0 Comments

Re: Scott Hastings

If you don't know who this guy is, good. Please, read no further. What bothers me the most about him is that some people could think, "Man, that Hastings is just such a character! Great guy." No, no, no! Understand--- this guy, in a recent interview with Read More...
Posted Wednesday, May 04, 2005 1:00 PM by Chris Jones | 1 Comments

Or did I mean lucky drummer?

Today I saw an old used copy of the Beatles' "I Saw Her Standing There" on 45. In careful, female cursive there was one word written next to each of the Beatles' heads on the cover. Next to George and John was written, "cute." Next to Paul was written, Read More...
Posted Tuesday, May 03, 2005 5:00 PM by Chris Jones | 0 Comments

Farting. As in: Farting

I say it's God's comedy, so it's time we quit pretending we're too refined to have fun with it. We all do it. What's the big deal? Is laughter not worth a few seconds of olfactory discomfort? Even the BEST BAPTIST IN THE WORLD will let out a little toot Read More...
Posted Monday, May 02, 2005 3:45 PM by Chris Jones | 0 Comments