Thursday, February 10, 2005 11:30 AM
Chris Jones
A Note on Wrinkled Butts
Ah, the explicit irony of glancing to the right of a
naked-old-butt-at-the-rec-center post and seeing (and this is
verbatim), "The Home Butt Blaster $449." Why deal with the
maligned nostalgia of free weights or drooping, naked posteriors when
you could all be blasting your fannies right in your own living
rooms!
I have but this more to say: thank you for stripping the weight
room nod of its utter coolness. If ever again I visit a
weightroom, I'm POSITIVE that the burliest, most muscle-bound freak of
ultralegal muscle-proliferating substance will get a nod from me that's
followed immediately by the kind of violent laughter that can only
occur when one tries in vain to hold it in. I'm basically blaming
you for all fist-fights I'll get into with bodybuilders later. I
mean, if there's even an incling in my mind of, "There's nothing
attached to the weights WE lift," it's all over.
Therefore, thank you. Whatever that means.