Linday Lohan Hates Kids

This story is kind of old, but someone just recently brought it to my attention. Lindsay Lohan doesn't like kid movies.

"(I don't) need to do any more kid movies," Lohan tells Harper's Bazaar magazine in their upcoming issue. "The word kid makes you feel like a child. Someone I dated called me kid all the time. I hated it... I've been through more than some people have in lifetimes."

Lets just recap the points Lindsay is making here.

The word "kid" makes her feel like a child.

Other words and phrases that make her feel like a child: little girl, little baby, small fry, tot, papoose, minor, tyke, jail bait and barely legal. Ironically, she later revealed that the word "child" makes her feel a bit like a wax pear.

A guy she dated called her kid.

Ah ha! So the rumors about her and Clint Eastwood were true! Which is creepier, the fact that she dated a man who called her kid, or the fact that she admitted this in an interview? I can so relate to her too, because someone I dated always called me ugly, and it made me somehow feel less attractive.

Just kidding, of course I have never dated anyone.

She has been through more than some people have in lifetimes.

Ok, I'll give her this one. Dating Wilmer Valderrama has got to be a kind of hell on earth that only victims of war crimes and patrons of Taco Bell can relate to.

But hey, if it means extreme riches, I will gladly follow in Lindsay's footsteps and intentionally spew 95% of my meals and get a series of breast augmentation procedures. I draw the line at dating Wilmer however. You hear me Fez?! Now stop calling!!

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