Dinner Time

We've been having some trouble lately getting the kids to eat their dinner.  My wife is a very good cook, so I don't really understand this.  Regardless, the kids will cry, pout, yell, and hold their breath to avoid eating something new.  I vary between using my Voice of Authority™ and trying to use humor to diffuse the situation.  (If you are going the humor route, I highly recommend armpit farts.  Armpit farts make little boys laugh 100% of the time, even at funerals.)  After 30 minutes when they finally eat it, they always say "that isn't too bad!"

Of course it isn’t too bad!!  Do you think we are trying to feed you avian bird flu feces?  No, in general we try to feed you food.  Children seem to have no problem at all putting things that aren't food into their mouths however.  Dirty washcloths, plastic sharks, oily screw drivers, dirty bathwater, a marble they found under the refrigerator, grave dirt.  But don't ask them to try that new casserole.   Gross!

So we have to look for alternate ways to get some nutrition into them.  Chocolate milk, for example.  A side benefit of the milk is, if you can get them to suck down a big glass, they will get cold and want to cuddle with you.  (Warning: Armpit farts done in the middle of the chocolate milk drinking are not a good idea.  Warning 2: Drawers in a kitchen table are troublesome, as they will often fill up with nose milk.)

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