Trees Might Not Be The Answer

Yesterday I was driving behind a strange looking car which turned out to be a hybrid Honda CRV. It had a large, green bumper sticker that said: "Trees are the answer". Now this seems like a philosophy that might fail when put to the test, and it got me to thinking. For what exact question is "trees" the answer?

If the question is: "What are those greenish brown things sticking up from the ground?", then yes, trees is the answer.

If the question is: "What should I use to burn when I am camping to stay warm?", then again, trees are the answer.

If the question is: "What is paper made out of?" I say trees.

But on the other hand if the question is: "Who will pick me up from work today?", trees - definitely NOT the answer. Don't waste your time waiting around for trees. They are probably too busy growing -- or whatever it is they do -- to give any thought to your needs.

"What should I have for dinner?" Not a tree. Just take my word on this, it brings up some bad memories.

"Where can I get an alternator for a 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass?" Trees?  Yeah right.

I conclude that as a general rule when taking your SATs and what not, don't answer trees. You will be wrong a surprising amount of the time.

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