Some Women Are High Maintenance

My Tivo allows me to create what it calls "wish lists." I can give TiVo the name of an actor, a sports team, etc., and TiVo will record any show it finds is related to my wish list. But I have one list for which TiVo never finds anything to record. That wish list is for The Six Million Dollar Man.

TSMDM was my favorite show as a kid, but apparently, I'm the only one who liked it. There are no reruns and no DVD box sets. Would you like to see every episode of Blossom in HD Widescreen? No problem, it's available. Want to see the director's cut of Mr. Belvedere Season 2, Episode 4? Also available. But if you want to see the best damn show ever produced for television (according to a fuzzy 20 year-old memory), you are screwed. It's simply not available.

I find it interesting that the price of the bionic man was featured so prominently. He cost exactly six million dollars, so that's the title of the show. Interestingly, the cost of the bionic woman was always a little more nebulous. It was a closely-held secret, and I think it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. After all, bionic hair extensions and bionic acrylic nail aren't exactly free. There are all sorts of ongoing maintenance expenses. With the bionic man, you might be able to build him and just send him on his way, but with a bionic woman you have to factor in recurring expenses such as the latest bionic purses, bionic feminine hygeine products, and a bionic friend for the bionic woman to bionically complain about.

This couldn't work in the real world, of course. What if the taxpayers knew that the bionic woman cost $18 million and didn't even have bionic vision? It would make NASA seem frugal by comparison.

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